The other day I was people watching as I walked around a local Target buying a new, pretty (ocean blue (in case you are wondering)) bath mat. One of the things I was struck by was the abundance of ratty sweatshirts (believe me, they had seen better days), ill-fitting capris and sneakers worn by women shoppers. Yes, I know it was a Sunday afternoon and everyone was clearly in errand-mode and wanted to be comfy. Mostly, I felt sad that these women were so harried and distracted. It was clear that their personal appearance was low on their list of priorities.
Are you nodding in agreement? Feeling a connection to these women? Do you position yourself at the top or the bottom of your priority list?
As a woman, you are conditioned to believe that you are first and foremost a nurturer of others (sometimes to the exclusion of everything else). As a result you often ignore or poo-poo your own needs and desires to satisfy the never-ending demands on your time and energy. Do you tell yourself that surely something as inconsequential as how you look cannot possibly be important enough to take time away from your other pressing responsibilities?
I cannot begin to tell you how often women share with me that they just stand in front of their closets and cry when they get dressed to go almost anywhere. After they do that often enough, one of two things happens – either they give up completely and dress on autopilot just putting on whatever is clean and “not horrible” (their words, not mine). Or, they stomp their foot and say enough.
Recently, a client of mine told me that her husband was so upset watching her get ready to go out for an evening with friends. He hated (and felt helpful to offer assistance) that she felt so deflated and unattractive because she had nothing to wear that made her feel good. Does any of this sound familiar?
What I have discovered over the years is that rarely are women low on their own priority list by design. It is often more that all their attempts to create a personal style and wardrobe they love have been thwarted – they can’t find things they like when they shop or they don’t know what looks good on them, so they give up and concentrate on others. It’s easier, more satisfying and causes less personal angst.
What is keeping you from putting yourself high on your priority list?
___ Guilt (that you should be doing for others instead)
___ Frustration (don’t know what looks good on you or can’t find it when you do shop)
___ Body image issues (you don’t feel like you deserve to look good)
___ Overwhelm (you don’t know where to begin and/or find it impossible to navigate the stores)
___ Other
If it is one or more of the above, list them in order of priority and begin to address them one at a time. Just like everyone else, you deserve to (and can) look good and feel good about how you look every day. Why settle any longer for “not horrible” or worse. Unsure where to start? I can help.
1. Start by reading Cheryl Richardson’s book “Take Time For Your Life” and find the chapter on “Get Your Priorities Straight.”
2. Next, I recommend Cheryl’s book “Stand Up For Your Life” and check out the chapter called “Stop Hiding Your Power” (Cheryl talks about my work with women and the benefits of feeling good about how you look.)
3. Finally, get a copy of my personal style home study program
“Who Taught You How To Dress?”
Yes, we all have demands on our time – many of them important. The nice thing about creating a look you love is that with a short investment of time in the beginning you can have a lifetime of feeling good about how you look! Start now so you can feel great about how you look now and for years to come!
**Need more personal assistance, fill out my ‘I Need Help’ form and we’ll set up a free ‘Discover Your Style’ phone consultation.
