Have you ever walked around a store looking for something specific and thought, yikes, there’s nothing here I want to buy? You’ve checked every department and all the sales racks (more than once) and still nothing! You could go to another store but you’re running late for a meeting or to pick up the kids, and you’re feeling discouraged and tired anyway.
We’ve all been there, done that so don’t be too upset with yourself. The important thing is to learn from it and regroup.
The very first thing you’ll want to consider is if this has been a recurrent theme in your shopping history. If so, perhaps it is time to evaluate how little this supports you in creating a wardrobe you love (not to mention the drain on your self-esteem and psyche). Here are some suggestions to help you redirect your energy on those days when you’re having a frustrating shopping experience.
Do you need to:
1. Shop with more lead time. Be honest. Are your shopping expeditions generally initiated out of pure desperation (you have an event to go to tomorrow and you’ve been putting off looking for something to wear because you knew it would be an unpleasant and unrewarding experience, or your only pair of work shoes just bit the dust (you kept meaning to buy another pair but never got around to it and now you have nothing to wear for a special meeting)? Don’t berate yourself. Just chalk it up to experience, and do what you need to do to get through the situation. Most importantly, let this serve as a wake-up call (albeit a somewhat expensive one (both in terms of the money you spent on something you don’t love and your precious time you wasted) not to let it happen again. Keep reading…it will help.
2. Cut your losses. Don’t buy something you don’t love. Leave the store once you’ve determined you can’t find anything. Never settle for less. Desperation aside, you don’t want to fill your wardrobe with things that are okay, decent, functional or good enough. Nope. Never. You are better off wearing what you already have in your wardrobe that serves the purpose (even minimally) than buying something to add to the ‘never wear’ pile.
3. Take a break. If your shopping experience is heading downhill fast, take a few minutes and go have a cup of tea or lunch. If you don’t have time, then call it a day and plan to shop again tomorrow or the next day. You can’t buy something you love when you’re expecting only to find things you don’t love. Remember that during peak times in the shopping season, the stores are bringing new things onto the sales floor daily so you might see something new the next time you venture in. And, this might sound woo-woo but once you feel refreshed and venture into the store with a renewed attitude of hopefulness, you are more likely to see something that was there all along, but when you are frustrated and rushed your eye naturally settles on things that don’t appeal to you (just to fuel your frustration). Now that you’re refreshed and have a brighter attitude you are open to inviting in new fun possibilities.
4. Find a new store(s) to replace where you’re shopping now or as a back-up when your usual stores are not giving you what you want. It’s so easy to get stuck in a rut. Perhaps your favorite store is your favorite because 5 years ago you were able to outfit yourself perfectly there every time you went in. Now, either because your body has changed, your lifestyle has changed or they have a new buyer and the store is focusing on a different clientele, you come out empty handed more often than not and even when you do buy something you end up returning it. If this sounds familiar, it’s time to shop somewhere else! If you are used to shopping at Target try Kohls or JC Penney? Has Macy’s or Saks always been your go-to store? Then how about Lord & Taylor or Bloomingdale’s. Are you a tried and true Marshall’s fan? Then take a trip to Nordstrom Rack or Loehmann’s?
5. Revisit what you are looking for. Is it realistic? One of my dearest clients LOVED the jewelry of the 1980’s — big earrings that sat high on her ear and made a huge fashion statement. Right after the 1980’s, jewelry trends made an about face, and everything was eensy-weensy. It made finding her favorite earrings virtually impossible. She had to make a choice – keep looking for something that didn’t exist or try something new. A similar scenario is true right now: jackets/interesting blazers are lost in space! To a large extent we are stuck with jackets that are weird 80’s replicas (not even the best of the 80’s!), blazers that are part of a classic suit or else your choices are interesting styles but only in black or gray. Want a fun jacket? You’ll have to think outside the box (at least until the designers wise up!).
Be more open to options you haven’t considered before. For example:
• Find a great consignment store. Consignment shops are popping up all over the place, and they can be a great place to find different items for less than retail or styles that are classic enough to withstand the test of time (while still appealing to your esthetic sense, of course (you never want to buy something simply because it’s classic)).
• Spend a tad more money. If you spent $50 more for something but wore it 10 times as much as the lesser-priced item you don’t like as well, would it be worth the extra cost? (I recommend that the answer be yes since getting value from your wardrobe is all about price per wear. And, the more items you buy that you love the less you’ll need to buy to feel satisfied with your wardrobe.) I’m not saying you can’t find great items for less. I’m just suggesting that you allow for both possibilities.
• Use a tailor when off-the-rack clothes aren’t perfect. Unless you are a perfect fit model size for your favorite designer or you love to shop so much (and have the free time to spend shopping) that you don’t mind waiting until you find something off the rack that fits perfectly, you need a tailor. For most of us, something almost always needs to be tweaked (at least 60+% of my wardrobe needs to go to the tailor before I can wear it).
6. Don’t give up. If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Use the information above to reframe how you approach your wardrobe-building strategy. Everyone can have a wardrobe she adores but not if you let overwhelm, desperation and discouragement lead the way.
What did you learn? Rather than write off an unfruitful shopping trip entirely, figure out what your take-aways are. Maybe you learned that you need to:
____ find a great tailor.
____ wear comfortable shoes the next time you shop so you’re not focused on the pain in your feet rather than the clothes you want to buy.
____ shop with a list and go to another store sooner if you’re not finding what you want.
____ plan ahead so you’re not scrambling at the last second. Perhaps having a couple of dressy outfits you love already in your closet just waiting for those special occasions will take the pressure off.
____ shop with a buddy (someone you trust and who won’t press her agenda on you) or a professional.
____ shop in the _______ (time of day) when you feel the most energized.
____ clean out your closet before you shop so you really know what you need instead of wondering if you already have 3 exactly the same at home.
____ other ______________________________________________________
Take the next step and commit to one of the things you checked above. See what happens when you approach your wardrobe building experience from a new vantage point. Doing just one thing differently can have major impact and inspire you in ways you can’t imagine right now. How could it hurt? If you keep doing what you’re doing you’ll keep getting the same results and chances are (if you are reading this article) you aren’t happy with what you’ve been getting. This is your chance to take a step in a new direction that can have powerful results. Try it and see!
