I’m a big believer in never saying never. Times change, lifestyles change and personal preferences change so ‘never’ can feel a bit confining. That said, I also know that every day we make choices and are given an option about pretty much everything we do. Do you brush your teeth or not? Hmmmm, chances are good (we hope!) that you do that on auto pilot. What about breakfast–do you eat pizza or oatmeal? Definitely a personal preference. A movie or bowling? The latest SUV or a sedan? Bedtime at 10 pm or midnight? You get to choose, and you probably know what you like without too much forethought or anguish.
When it comes to personal style, it gets a bit more challenging. For some women, their makeup routine is a very important part of their morning ritual. For others it’s hit or miss (depending on their schedule or mood), and for some it’s not even on their radar. Again, it really comes down to personal preference. Although I happen to think that makeup is fun and having been born with blonde eyelashes and eyebrows I love what it can do to make my eyes stand out a bit more, but I would never impose my preferences on someone else.
What is important, however, is to know what you will and won’t do when it comes to your own personal style preferences. Where you draw the line? If it is really that important to you, then own it! Perhaps you’ll never wear high heels. Or, maybe you will never spend 20 minutes blow drying your hair. It could be that you’ve sworn off skirts forever in favor of pants. You get to decide for yourself.
If you don’t own it, you will end up frustrated by your choices (and other people’s persuasive powers). I cannot tell you how many women I know own 10 different brushes, a slew of hair products and a blow dryer, flat iron…you name it…all the time knowing they aren’t going to use them or use them haphazardly with unsatisfactory results simply because they think they are supposed to or have been told they have to. What they really ant is a wash-and-wear hairstyle but end up with something that needs to be ‘styled’ to work because they can’t say no. If this sounds familiar, it’s time to take back your power and your right to say NEVER again!
I have two personal ‘never’ choices that I can share with you.
- I will never wear shorts. Oh, how freeing it was to finally allow myself to say that a number of years ago. Okay, so last year I bought a skort (it’s kind of like shorts) in case it gets to be a million degrees when I go for a walk in the summer. Did I wear them last year? No (it never got excruciatingly hot enough – I live near the ocean so that’s not a surprise), but I have them just in case (check back with me in September to see if they ever saw the light of day!).
- I also will never wear a self-tanner. Yes, I’m incredibly pale and can’t tan (even if I wanted to), but the last thing I need is one more “beauty” ritual and one that only lasts a few days at that! I’ve been pale all my life and finally embrace my paleness (or ‘pale power’ as I like to call it).
What do you have a “never” attitude about?
If it doesn’t interfere with your happiness, well-being or career (well, actually you even get to choose it if it does!), then feel free to own it. And, know that you always have the right to change your mind down the road even if you said you “never” would!
4 Responses
I will never use a tanning bed or a self-tanner. Like you, I have come to be proud of my pale skin, and prefer my china complexion to the bronze-age look. I love knowing that my skin will be smooth and clear, avoiding the raisinette appearance that will plague today’s Sun Goddesses in the near-to-now years (probably sooner than they think).
I will never get a bikini wax of any type! Anyone who would ever get close enough to see it will know that about me, and love me whether or not hot wax ever approaches my bikini zone.
I will never take fashion advice from someone whose look I don’t love.
Pale Power rules! Staying out of the sun also keeps you from skin cancer and cataracts. Not being racist, but if God made it white, He made it right. Let our paleness shine!
I like other colors too, but am tired of white people wanting tans, brown people wanting to be white, women with straight hair wanting curls, women with curly hair wanting it straight, etc! If we could all just love ourselves as we are, wouldn’t that make a perfect world?
I will never wear clogs, mules or UGGS. In my opinion, all three are U-G-L-Y and have little or nothing to do with my personal style statement.
“Nevers” are constant. A lot of people who identify as women or men have “nevers” that are simply part of our culturally assigned gender code. We might never see this unless we travel. A male Fijian airline worker might be looking at you over the ticket counter with a crisp shirt and tie, then walk over to pick up your bag and you see there’s a skirt as well. I’m all for the critique of others’ persuasive powers. Seen at a macro level, aren’t they a form of social policing?